We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
