i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
