just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
