He kissed a someone with a penis
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
