Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
