I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
