atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
