I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
