How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
