I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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