Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
