I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
