'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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