It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
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