Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
