if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
