im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
