You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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