I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
