So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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