We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
