Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
