Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
