can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Randomize
