Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
