piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
