what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
