Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
