i was rollin on her like bob the builder
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
