just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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