either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
