and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
