My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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