Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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