I want to have your abortion
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
