In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
