What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
