she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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