He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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