I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
