So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
