Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
whose parrot is this?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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