you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
