the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
