i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
