At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
