i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
