We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
