It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
