Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I think people are normalizing furries
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
