Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
