what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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